Who doesn't love a good cry every now and then? Who doesn't enjoy losing themselves in a movie that pulls at the heartstrings and lets you escape from your world for a while? I know many people tell us that emotions will only lead to pain. But so what; sometimes life’s pains can be a wonderful part of the whole human experience. I’m not talking about anything lascivious. I’m talking about embracing your emotional experience in order to learn and grow from the world around you. It's possible to do this as long as you have a level of separation that enables you to observe, experience and learn from your emotional experiences, be they painful, or beautiful.
When you watch a love story or a drama, or even a horror film, you watch it from the emotional safety of your seat. At times even a movie can touch too raw a nerve, making it too painful to sit through the entire film. At other times, a movie may stay with you long after you have left the theater, tempting you to replay it over and over again, so that you can explore whatever emotional heartstrings it pulled on. It may even be strong enough that you want to talk to a friend about it, to relate and get their insight into what actually happened.
It may sound odd to think about watching your own life like a movie. But in a way that is exactly what embracing your own emotions means doing. It means creating a bit of separation by living mindfully, so that you can step back and observe your emotions at a healthy distance. Or even bring in someone to talk to about them, if they become too overwhelming.
In reality, you already live much of your own life like it is a movie. Every day you decide how deeply you want to participate in the world around you, or to remove yourself from it. Perhaps you allow your mind to drift while in a meeting that has nothing to do with you – isolating yourself from the goings on around you. Or maybe you find yourself drawn to a conversation that two people are having, inviting yourself to be an active member in their world. So why not do the same thing for yourself? Why not decide what part of life you want to be a part of?
Innately your reaction to an emotion is to give it a priority in your life. When you feel one bubbling up, you most likely give it the room it demands without even thinking about it. Rarely do you say "wait a minute, is now the time for this?" Instead, like most of us, you let your natural programming take over, and let whatever it is you’re feeling run its course. It’s not a bad thing. But it may not allow you the time and freedom YOU need to understand what you are feeling; leaving you a puddle as you wade through the emotional tsunami that is ravaging your body.
By staying mindful of the world around you and of your own emotions, you can create a healthy bit of separation between you and your inner feelings. If you have the presence to feel when an emotion is starting to build and bubble up, you can be empowered to hit your own pause button. You can choose whether to follow your emotion or to put it on hold. You can also choose how to respond, if you want to respond at all. By acknowledging it, embracing it, and being mindful of it, you can release it in measured doses, enabling you to manage whatever it is you are feeling, and empowering you to explore whatever it is you are dealing with - alone or with someone else.
The next time you feel an emotion coming on, take a few deep breaths. Ground yourself with a few minutes of meditation if you can. Then acknowledge whatever it is you are feeling. Become aware of whatever triggered your emotion before you respond. Think about what in your past has caused you to react in the way you are reacting. Take a moment before you react so that YOU are directing your own life, rather than empowering your past to direct your actions.
Emotions need recognition and acceptance, not just attention. So welcome your emotions and embrace them, but do not let yourself get caught up in them. They are all a part of the human experience. Maintaining a sense of clarity and balance before responding is the difference between living the life you want to live, and chasing after emotions that are running wild.
Simple Truth
I would add that you can never be overwhelmed by emotions that you can clearly associate to a past, unprocessed, fear or sadness. It is only when we are overcome with emotion that seems to have no basis in our history that we become fearful or anxiety ridden. All emotions that we have labeled as undesirable or bad have their roots in some part of our history and if you stay calm and go deep the connection from the past will be revealed to you. Usually it is some fear or sadness that was suppressed long ago. Once you have allowed this old emotion it's right to be fully processed you will begin the path to freedom.
ReplyDeleteGood blog - I love the name.
Wow here it is 2014 and this was posted 2011 and it has not lost it's power. THANK YOU for this post, it is helping me so much.
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