Wednesday, March 30, 2011

At What Point Does Your House Own You?

I remember a camping trip that went wildly wrong years ago.  We arrived at our site after a long hike just as the weather started  to turn.  It was too late to hike back out so we pitched our tent on what would have been an idyllic spot and decided to brave whatever the night would bring.  

Not long after, the rain started.  As the sun set, the temperature dropped and the now freezing rain quickly doused what remained of our fire.  We spent that night under a tent that quickly started to leak.  We spent that night eating cold, sticky mouthfuls of the uncooked food that we had packed in.  We were miserable.

After a sleepless night we hefted our gear and packed out at first light.  We slogged our way down the trail and eventually made it to our car.  The ride home was a silent witness to our despair.  I do remember, though, that the shining moment of the entire weekend was opening the door to our home and getting hit with the warm, dry air of our living room.  We made hot cups of tea with the flip of a switch and enjoyed hot showers for what seemed like hours.  Just knowing we were safely home brought an unbelievable sense of joy.  

It was the simplest of experiments that proved the most basic of essentials could bring us untold happiness.  They would to anyone in our position.

I still don’t know if I was ten times happier at home that day or a hundred times happier.  I just know I was happier.  And here comes the tricky part.  The logical assumption one would naturally make is that if having just a house made me that much happier, then having a house twice as big should make me twice as happy.

Unfortunately that's just the kind of thinking that gets far too many people into trouble.  The first bite of a cookie brings you all kinds of joy.  But by the tenth bite, it has gone from unbelievable, to delicious, to simply good, and finally to too much.  This is called The Law Of Diminishing Returns.  It simply states that increasing a given factor [i.e., buying a larger home, taking another bite of a cookie] will result in increasingly marginal returns.  The more you bite into your cookie, the less fantastic each bite will be until in the end you can make yourself sick if you keep on eating.  The larger your home becomes, the less pleasure it gives you, until it eventually becomes so large that it ends up being more of a burden than a pleasure.

So the real question is, at what point does your home go from being a necessity, to being a luxury, and even a burden?  At what point does a tempting dessert become a gross indulgence? Unfortunately only you can answer that question.  Because only you know the reason you are buying a house, or a handbag, or a pair of shoes, or a dessert.  At some point whatever you have your eyes on goes from being a utility and bringing you 100% happiness, to being a luxury that provides you with a minimal increase in happiness, or a burden that drags you down. So the next time you think about buying something.  Take a moment to think about why you are buying it rather than just the what.  

If it is to make your life bearable [a roof over your head] then by all means buy it.  It if is to make your life easier, then think about how necessary it is before you burden yourself with another unnecessary layer of stuff [will having a $350 frying pan really make a better omelet?  Or will it just make you feel special while frying it?].  Finally, if it is something you’re buying to keep up with the Joneses and make you feel better at the next  neighborhood get-together, then take the time to love yourself just the way you are rather than undermining your value with somebody else’s logo.

Where the line is drawn is different for everyone.   So don’t judge others for what they have or why they have it.  At the same time don’t let people judge you.  Just be aware of your own “why” behind the “what” that you do.  Be mindful of the emotions that run through your body as you make the choices you do every day. That is all that should matter.   If you’re honest with yourself about what you are doing, happiness will follow.  But trying to recapture some past pleasure that you're clinging too just never works out.  Nor does listening to the call of advertisers and neighbors.  Believe it or not, they’re more than likely wrong about what YOU really want.


After all, what YOU truly want is part of your own Simple Truth.










Jeffrey Cannon
Simple Truth

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